Relationships

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for around 6 months. We both live in a Western country, and during this time I became extremely emotionally attached to her. The problem is that my trust has been broken several times. The first time, her ex called her late at night. I let it go because I thought she couldn't control an ex trying to contact her. But later, I caught her adding her ex through a female/alternate account. Another time, she unblocked him on Instagram and then received a call from him while I was with her. I've also caught other things involving different guys that made my trust even worse. Now she wants to get married as soon as possible. She cries, begs me to marry her and promises she will never do these things again. But at the same time, she tells me I won't have access to her phone until we are married. Her family environment is also very toxic, which gives me another concern about marrying into the situation. I'm stuck because I genuinely like her and my attachment to her is extremely strong, but everything that happened keeps replaying in my head. Part of me wants to believe her promises, while another part of me feels like once trust has been broken this many times in only 6 months, marriage could make the situation even harder. If you were in my position, would you give her another chance and consider marriage, or end the relationship permanently?

My husband is cheating on me. We have two sons, and I realized later that he was not loyal to me. I don't know what I should do because I'm having anxiety attacks, and he knows about them. Ever since I found out, he has been mentally torturing me.

A Confession After Twelve Years We have been friends for almost twelve years. Twelve years of conversations, laughter, secrets, arguments, and memories. Somewhere along the way, our friendship became something neither of us ever planned. We both got married—to different people—and life moved forward. But somehow, we never completely lost touch. We continued talking, checking on each other, and sharing things we couldn't easily share with everyone else. Then, a few months ago, something changed. Our conversations became more frequent. We started talking almost every day, sometimes for hours. We became emotionally closer than we had ever been, and slowly, the boundaries of our friendship became blurred. Now we have reached a point where we both want to meet—not simply as old friends, but to understand what this connection between us really means. There is also a temptation to become physically closer, even if it happens only once. And honestly, that is what makes this so complicated. Part of me says, "It's only one meeting. Maybe it will give us closure." But another part asks, "What if one meeting changes everything?" Because we are both married, this isn't just about two old friends following their feelings. There are two other people, two families, and years of trust involved. Maybe the strongest thing we can do is pause before meeting and ask ourselves what we truly want—and what we might lose. Sometimes, being close to someone doesn't mean we have to cross every boundary. Maybe this friendship is precious because it survived twelve years. And perhaps the real test of our feelings isn't whether we can get closer, but whether we can care enough about each other to stop before we hurt the people who trust us. So I don't know whether meeting "just once" is a good idea. I only know that if we meet, it should be with complete honesty about the consequences—not because one moment of emotion is stronger than twelve years of friendship, marriage, and trust.

I'm a 30-year-old woman, a practicing Muslim, financially independent, and Alhamdulillah I feel blessed with many things in my life. However, at this age, everyone is concerned about my marriage. For the past two and a half years, I had feelings for someone I met at my workplace. I never told him because I am very shy, and I had many fears and uncertainties. I did not know enough about him to approach him regarding marriage, but my intentions were pure. I prayed to Allah for him and hoped that if there was goodness in it, Allah would make it happen. He often seemed interested in me. He would look at me, appreciate me, and try to talk to me, which made me think that perhaps one day he would approach me for nikah. However, that never happened. Then one day I found out that he was engaged. It hurt me deeply and completely shattered me. A month or two later, he happily announced his wedding date, and everyone around him was congratulating him and discussing his marriage plans. Seeing this broke my heart even more. Since then, I have been struggling badly. I overthink constantly, feel depressed, distracted, and emotionally exhausted. I feel far from Allah and unable to find peace. I keep thinking about him even though I know he is now married and I do not want to think about a married man. I keep asking Allah to heal my heart, but I feel stuck in this pain. Sometimes, out of hurt, I even find myself asking Allah to let him feel the same pain I am feeling, although I know that may be wrong. I see him almost every day at work, which makes everything even harder. What was my fault in all of this? How do I move on, heal, and reconnect with Allah after being so deeply hurt?

I am a second wife and I have been thinking about what the signs are of being in the right marriage or relationship. When I asked my husband and co-wife this question, they both answered that Allah would not bless a couple with children if they were not in the right relationship. Personally, I feel that this answer is only partly correct. I think there may be more to a healthy and blessed marriage, such as how people treat one another, whether there is peace, kindness, cooperation, and whether life flows well between them. I have also seen many good couples with strong marriages who are unable to have children due to medical reasons, and I do not believe that automatically means they are in the wrong relationship. This made me wonder about my own situation. Both my co-wife and I lost our first pregnancies with our husband at roughly the same stage, although later we were both blessed with living children. If having children is the main sign of being in the right relationship, then would losing a pregnancy be considered a sign that the relationship was wrong? I would like to understand the Islamic perspective on this.

Female We spent three years together in a loving and respectful relationship. He supported me through my happiness and difficulties, cared for me deeply, and always treated me with respect. We stayed committed to each other and did not cross any physical boundaries before marriage. After those three years, we got married and started our life together with hope and love. However, after marriage, we faced a very painful issue. When we tried to be intimate, my husband was unable to perform, and despite many attempts, we could not consummate the marriage. Months passed, and we kept this matter private at first. After some time, we sought medical help, but the issue still remained. Now it has been six months, and the situation has not changed. I am still a virgin, and my husband is emotionally and mentally distressed. He feels broken and has even told me that I should leave him and marry someone else so I can have a normal life. I love him deeply and cannot imagine leaving him. He has sacrificed a lot for me, and I value him beyond this issue. At the same time, I am confused and worried about our future, especially regarding intimacy and having children. I don't know what the right decision is, and I am seeking sincere advice on how to handle this situation in the best way.

I would like to ask about my marriage. Since we got married, my husband has become very cold and distant towards me. He always keeps a gap between us emotionally and physically. He rarely talks to me about anything meaningful, and whenever he is at home, he spends most of his time on his phone. He almost never shows affection. He does not hug me, kiss me, or make me feel loved. If I try to initiate affection myself, he often pulls away or pushes me away. He tells me that he cannot touch me before prayer, but I have read that this is not correct. I feel deeply neglected and lonely in this marriage. Because of this loneliness, I sometimes find myself developing feelings towards other men, which frightens me. I do not want to betray my husband or commit any sin, but I am struggling emotionally. We also have a young son, and he is one of the main reasons I have not pursued divorce. I do not want my child to grow up without his father, and I am afraid of handling everything alone. What should I do according to Islam?

I am a widow with four children. My husband passed away a few months ago, and after completing my iddah, I received a marriage proposal from one of my late husband's friends. He is a good man, practices Islam well, and has a good relationship with both me and my children. He is willing to accept me and my children as part of his life. I cannot see anything wrong with him, but remarriage is not currently my priority. I am also concerned about what people around us might think or say if I decide to marry him. I would like to know what Islam teaches in this situation. Should I consider the proposal, or should I decline it because of people's opinions?

Assalamualaikum I (29M) am currently preparing my profile for marriage I have drafted an extended private and sensitive questionnaire document to help a potential partner and me get on the exact same page early on. My question to the community: How would you react if a potential spouse presented you with a structured questionnaire for both early in the talking phase? Does this come across as mature, efficient, and serious, or is it too intense/intimidating for a first step? For sisters who prioritize Deen and critical thinking: Would you appreciate this level of upfront clarity, or would you prefer these topics to come up naturally through conversation? If you have used a deep questionnaire, how did it go? What are the pitfalls I should watch out for? Looking forward to your honest insights and advice on the format. JazakAllahu Khayran!

I have been married for 13 years. Throughout the marriage, I have paid half of the household bills and covered all of the food and clothing expenses for our children. Only recently has my husband started wanting to take control of the children and the finances. Due to poor health, I now want to leave work, but my husband has told me that he will not provide for me financially. He used to eat the food I cooked, but he has stopped doing so and now arranges his own meals. We barely speak to each other, and he lives in the house more like a lodger than a husband. We share the same bed, but there is no intimacy between us. He also believes that I have done black magic on him. Some time ago, he issued one divorce, but after about two months we reconciled. Three weeks later, his behavior changed again. He now says that the divorce does not count because he was suffering from mental health issues at the time. Given all of this, is our nikah still valid? What should I do Islamically in this situation?

Hi everyone. I want to ask you guys that I've been fall in love with a foreign girl but she is elder than me. Our age gap is not 2 or 3 years. She is 33 & I'm 23. 10 years gap. And she has also relationships in past.. Personally I'm not worried about past but worried about age because Based on my current situation we can't meet probably for 2 years. I'm struggling with my career and she is getting older. I like her so much and she also do I think more than I do. We have great time till now. I need your honest suggestion please because later I don't want to hurt her feeling

I've been married since 2021, having three kids. I saw messages from my husband's ex-girlfriend also cousin on his WhatsApp. She had come home country, and they were both in contact. She doesn't contact him from abroad because of her husband as with him she's living happily, but after coming to Pakistan, they both (my husband and that lady) got in contact. She will go back soon, but I have read such romantic and disgusting chats. And I have those chats with me. Even though my husband deleted those chats, I still have them. They were having relationships in the past too, I warned her that time too but from the chat I got to know that they used to talk on n off. She's having a kid from his husband as well. I want to show those chats to my husband and that girl so they know that I am aware of everything and at least they should be embarrassed. My husband comes home on weekends. How should I do all this, and what should I do? Please give me some advice.

I have been with my husband for about eight months now, and we got married in July. It has only been about one month since we got married. Recently, I told him about a health condition I have. At first, he accepted it and seemed okay with it, but later he told me that he could not continue being with me because of my condition and that he wanted a divorce. My father is an imam who treats people, but because of the stigma surrounding my condition, I had never told him about it. When my husband asked for a divorce, I finally told my father. He contacted my husband and told him that he could treat me. I followed the treatment for three weeks and then went for another test, but the condition was still there. I told my husband, and he said that if it went away, he would stay with me, but if it remained, he did not think he could continue the marriage. His family members also spoke to him and advised him to take me to the hospital so that I could receive proper treatment. However, he refused. He said he felt betrayed because I should have told him before we got married. He said that if I had told him earlier, he would have been able to make his decision before the marriage. He also said that because he has another wife and children, he does not want to risk bringing any health concerns into that family. At first, I could not accept his decision. I pleaded with him and tried everything I could to save the marriage, but he kept saying that his decision was final and that he wanted a divorce. Later, I went to the hospital for another test, and they told me that my condition had improved, although it was still present. When the hospital spoke to him and tried to advise him, he said that the condition was no longer the main reason for the divorce. He said there were personal reasons, but whenever I ask him what those reasons are, he does not want to explain. The day after I told him about my condition, he packed his things from my room and went to stay with my co-wife. I had not seen him for about three weeks. Then, on Wednesday, he came to see me. We became intimate, and afterward he left. He came again on Friday, and we became intimate again. But despite everything that happened between us, he still tells me that he wants a divorce. I am now confused because his actions and his words do not seem to match. I do not know where I stand with him anymore. I still love him deeply, and I do not want to lose my marriage, but I also do not want to keep chasing someone who has already made up his mind. I need honest advice about what his behavior means, where I stand with him, and what I should do from here.

I am 30 years old. Mine was an arranged marriage, and my wife is nine years younger than me. She is a wonderful woman, and I have always considered myself very fortunate to have such a beautiful spouse. We have now been married for two years. Recently, after a serious conversation about the past, my wife disclosed that before our marriage she was sexually assaulted by one of her cousins against her will. She strongly denies that it was consensual and insists that she was a victim. Since hearing this, I feel completely shattered. I do not want to divorce her or ruin her life, and I still want her in my life, but my heart is struggling, my trust feels broken, and I feel emotionally lost. What should I do according to Islam?

I have been married for nearly 6 years. My husband is a good man in many ways and treats me with kindness, but we have struggled with intimacy since the beginning of our marriage. He has a medical condition that affects our marital relationship, and despite seeing doctors a few times, he has not continued treatment consistently. Every time I raise the issue, he says he will deal with it later, but years keep passing without much change. I am now in my mid-thirties and deeply desire children. Watching family and friends grow their families has become emotionally painful for me. I love my husband and do not want to leave him, but I also fear losing the opportunity to become a mother. I sometimes feel guilty for thinking about separation because of this issue, yet I do not know how long I should continue waiting. From an Islamic perspective, am I wrong for feeling this way, and what should I do?

I have been married for over 4 years, but my husband and I have never been able to have intercourse because of difficulties related to his weight. I have tried to be patient, but I am finding it harder now because I want children. He wants us to do IVF, but I don't feel comfortable going straight to IVF when we have never been able to try naturally. I have asked him many times to lose weight and take care of his health, but he doesn't make an effort to exercise and often returns to the same habits. This situation has affected me emotionally, and I even went through periods of depression because of it. I love him, but I also think about leaving because I do not know if things will ever change. From an Islamic perspective, am I wrong for feeling this way, and how long should someone remain patient in a situation like this?

I need honest, mature advice. My head is a mess, and I am completely lost on what to do next. I am a 33-year-old male. I had an arranged marriage in 2019. Alhamdulillah, we have a beautiful son, and by Allah's grace, I am doing very well financially. Two years ago, we moved into our own separate house due to some family issues. Things were okay—or at least, I thought they were. Three months ago, my world completely flipped. One night, I woke up to voices. My wife was on the phone at 2:00 AM, laughing and engaged in cheap talk. I confronted her right then and there. She broke down, begged for forgiveness, and swore on the Quran that "nothing physical happened and it will never happen again." I took her phone to check. After recovering her deleted chats, I found out she wasn't just talking to one person—she was talking to another guy as well and accepting gifts from him. When I confronted her with the evidence, she said, "Main bhatak gayi thi. Mera zameer mujhe kehta tha ke tum galat kar rahi ho." She swore oaths again. For the sake of Allah and for the future of my innocent son, I forgave her. I didn't tell a single soul about this. Her parents are no longer in this world. she only has two older brothers and a sister. Keeping this heavy secret inside pushed me into severe clinical depression. I spent two months on medication. Alhamdulillah, I am healing now and trying to stay strong. I genuinely thought we could rebuild our home. Then, two weeks ago, I dropped her off at her brother's house. She told me to pick her up in the evening. When evening came, I called her repeatedly, but she didn't answer. I then called her Bhabhi (sister-in-law), who casually told k wo apni sister ky gar gai hy... with her sister's husband (brother-in-law). I had clearly and strictly told her multiple times never to go anywhere without my permission. She completely disregarded my boundaries and lied about her whereabouts. That was the breaking point for me. I blocked her. It has been two weeks now. I haven't gone to her brother's house to bring her back, and she is still there. Right now, I am living completely alone. and I miss my son terribly. Because of this mess, my son hasn't been going to school for the last two weeks, and his education is suffering. I am deeply confused and emotionally exhausted. 1. Should I continue this relationship after the broken trust and constant lies? 2. Should I tell her older brothers everything that happened three months ago so they know the truth, or should I keep quiet? Please guide me with maturity. What is the right step for me and my son.

#infidelity #husband #olderwomen #hurt Assalamualaikum viewer, F Meri ek Frnd hai unka masla hai ye unki tabiyath thodi kharab rahne ki wajah se uno unke Ammi unke ghar pe the kuch din se means 2 months se unke husband se baat hoti rahti jab unke husband sasural aaye tho unexpectedly meri frnd unka phone check karli tho ek Lady se chatting thi usme Ajeeb siiiii confront kare tho galti accept kara banda but meri frnd jo hai bahuth sensitive hai normal nai lesakri is baat ku ... Banda Maafi mangra baar baar wo aurat bahut badi hai almost 55 believe karke maaf kardena ya nai Ladki har up and Downs me bahuth Sath di bhai Us husband ka phir bhi aisa kara wo need Suggestions on this

Unfortunately being honest gets you nowhere nowadays. It just backfires 2025 January I met the guy of my dreams, we met once after that it was long distance. We both live in USA but he's on west coast and me on east coast. August 2025 we spend two amazing weeks together. December 2025 he end our relationship. I was devastated and heartbroken. He said it wasn't me. It was because of immigration laws. I truly don't know the truth if he was always married or had to get married. I trusted him and I feel like a fool. I try my best to move on. He was my first relationship and I thought we would get married. I always felt loved and respected by him. I have no idea if he got married or not. We are not in any contact since he blocked me. We ended it on a good terms, but the pain still lingers. I try my best to move on. Fast forward June 2026, I decided to talk to guys on Muzz. Always ask me if I'm virgin or not. And I'm honest don't want to start any relationship over lies and Expect the same in return. But these guys would ask me such weird uncomfortable questions. and I would feel so uncomfortable how can you ask these stuff? I decided to take a break and stop talking to men. ( my ex never spoke to me like this and he was the only man I spoke to and now this is so difficult) I am not comparing him to anyone and my heart is just broken, how can I move on with all this nonsense. Right now I have decided to just stay single but once I'm ready to look for someone My question is how does one deal with this? Please be respectful and help me.

Salam my brothers,, I'm 28 yrs old ( Male) ,Account officer,recently got engaged to a girl 3 yrs elder than me, she's lecturer( bps-17) ,, just after engagement my mind is occupied with various negative thoughts and I'm so much worried thinking again and again that whether it was a good decision,, sometimes i think i should have married some younger girl, sometimes i think i should have opted for a non working , housewife,, i should have waited to find a more prettier one,, before engagement i never had these thoughts in my mind,, now I'm so much disturbed all the time thinking about various ifs and buts,, kindly help me tackle this situation please

I am a first year student in a reputable university..since I'm new..I feel so awkward..it's not like I'm introvert or shy...I open up myself to the people I'm very close to...yet I'm unable to make friends of my personality or vibe doesn't match...I am in a grp of 4 in which I can clearly see a duo and one is in their world...I'm actually friendly type of person yet I take time for it...I want to enjoy my uni life with lots of friends and memories as well as I want to maintain good grades...I have big dreams yet it feels to hard to achieve ..I didn't even tell about it to others bcz I know they might mock me...also it's not the first time I feel left out..in czns grp or schoolmates ...I feel like an extra...I don't wanna be centre of attention but at least I want a genuine friend for me...I never had a best friend...all my life i eager to had one yet couldn't...still now I want to hv one but it feels hard to have even a good grp..in my university all of them are 10..I feel low..I try to dress well..talk well..try to improve...yet everyone is so better than me...I thought when I get married I'll make my future husband my best friend...yet I feel like it may be not gonna happen bcz I'm kind of scared of marriage too like what if if ended up with a wrong person u know how peopleare nowadays like k*** partner over little stuff...... I lack confidence, don't have great energy in a circle like others...I'm not so pretty yet not ugly...I'm not so intelligent but not too dumb..I'm stuck in average point now in all aspects..I wonder why would anyone chose me ...an average person..who is not open up..while others are so good in everything...idk how to be better..how to improve myself? I can't even tell a truth with confidence yet people lie with so much confidence....I wonder if anything is wrong with me...like why me? Why I'm stuck here while God has given everyone everything... I need sincere advice from experienced people .

Assalamualaikum, F post as this anonymous.... I am 32F with 2 kids....My husband cheated on me...he married another lady and started his own life.....I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers...What should I do? Should I move on in my life? Should I compromise?

I'm a 30-year-old woman with some serious questions for men who treat their wives like maids instead of life partners. Why do you think your wife should take responsibility for you, your house, your kids, your parents, and even your anger issues? Why should she work all day like a maid and still be ready for you in bed whenever you want? Do you see her as a life partner or just a housemaid? Do you really think of her as a human being or some firm stone which even doesn't have feelings and pain? Really, is 9 months of pregnancy like playing with dolls final baby delivered or 9 months of physical, mental issues, depression, anxiety, plus working all day like a maid? Do you truly feel her like a life partner or a maid? Islamic Teachings on Marriage: In the Quran, Surah Ar-Rum (30:21) states: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought." This portrays the wife as a life partner bringing peace, love, and compassion. Surah An-Nisa (4:19) instructs: "Treat your wives with kindness, even if you dislike them; perhaps Allah will place much good in it." It urges goodness regardless of feelings, fostering harmony. Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187) says: "They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them." Spouses provide comfort, protection, and intimacy, like garments. Prophetic Guidance: The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives" (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah). In a hadith narrated by Aisha, the Prophet stated: "I am to you like Abu Zar'ah was to Umm Zar'ah" in love and loyalty (Bukhari). Another narration advises: When seeing an attractive woman, hurry to your wife for intimacy, as she fulfills the same desires (Muslim). The Prophet said: "Do not treat your wives like servants, for they are the most deserving of good treatment and kindness from you." The Prophet helped with household chores, mending clothes, and serving himself, showing true partnership (Bukhari, Muslim). Challenging Misconceptions: Where in Islam is there even one verse that justifies disrespecting her or her parents? Where does it say to slap her, verbally abuse her, make her pregnant every year, leave all household duties solely on her while you return from work, eat, relax, and sleep? Where does it demand such things during Nikah? Where does it command that she always stay silent like a mute, blind to all the pain and blame you give her, keeping her head bowed? Where does it say she must waive her mahr and beg from her parents for your sake? Where does it say if the husband is ignorant, alcoholic, or a consumer of haram, she must endure it, tolerate it, and try to reform him? Where in Islam does it say a wife must endure her husband's zina, mistresses, or friendships with other women? Why is a man's every sin forgiven, but a woman's smallest response seen as a scandal in society?